In the last few years a huge number of celebrity divorces have uncovered some new and emerging trends for couples who’ve chosen to “consciously uncouple”. Some are obviously too far are out there to merit serious attention, but other are available using family lawyers and worth your consideration. Here are a few ideas you might try out if you’re headed for the big “D”.
This might sound strange in the area of divorce but what the term refers to is the situation where children of divorce continue to live in the family home and the parents rotate in and out as they have visitation. Typically, the parent not currently living in the home will stay at a nearby apartment with a relative or a roommate. As their turn arrives they take over in the family home and the other parent switches to the apartment.
This approach offers a variety of benefits. First, it allows for a gradual transition into a two household life with parents living separately. It provides less interruption for the children since they are not shuttling between different locations. As mom and dad start to pursue their own independent lives again bird-nesting provides a ‘softer landing’ and more gradual transition for the entire family.
What is a Doula? The traditional definition of doula is a woman who provides support and assistance during childbirth. A “Divorce Doula” might be accurately described as a “divorce coach”. These professionals offer a wide variety of much needed services for individual who are divorcing, from personal emotional support to help finding an appropriate lawyer, seeking financial advice, or just being a shoulder to cry on.
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Alternative Custody Arrangements
A fast growing trend in divorce is a departure from the traditional custodial parent situation where children spend the majority of their time with one spouse. Even some courts and state legislatures are starting to create laws that make joint custody the presumption in custody awards. The exact nature of the parenting plan with joint custody can be whatever makes most sense for the children and the parent. I some cases time is equally split, in others parents rotate weekends, and in some bases bird-nesting is the answer (see above). The most important point is that the trend is quickly moving away from one-parent custody.
The Live-In Divorce
Marriage inevitably creates a situation where couples lives are intertwined and very difficult to untangle. If the couple has started a business together the situation becomes ever more complicated. Because of these facts some couples have chosen “stay together” in the sense that they continue to run businesses and even live together post-split. Why? Doing so often makes financial sense, the cost of running two households is overwhelming and extracting one spouse from a business may not be financially or operationally feasible.
Yes, you read that right, there are divorce apps for your phone but they may not be what you think. Once couples separate an entirely different world of communication and coordination is required. How do we keep track of doctors appointments, school concerts, and trips to the orthodontists? Applications like “2houses” try to effectively coordinate the affairs of a dual parenting lifestyle.
This is an arrangement like bird-nesting where divorced parents live very close to each other or even on different floors of the same apartment building. This way they can spend downtime as a family unit, even vacationing together and continuing holiday traditions to maintain the status quo for the children.
Our society is an ever changing landscape and the process and lives of divorced couples are no different. Using some of these techniques may help you navigate the turbulent waters of a divorce and provide a better environment for your children.